We Lost It All
by DawnOfRenalice
Summary: Ok so this is my first HetaliaxReader. There's a little DenkmarkxReader in there too! Anyway, You just lost your mom and your Dad has become a drinker to "help" with his depression and who's never in your life anymore! He seems to waste his life away!
1. Chapter 1

**A.N. – Heyyy! Ok so this is my first HetaliaxReader. There's a little DenkmarkxReader in there too! Anyway, You just lost your mom and your Dad has become a drinker to "help" with his depression and who's never in your life anymore! He seems to waste his life away! Please help! Enjoy~**

We Lost It All

"I HATE YOU SO MUCH!" you yelled as you slammed your bedroom door shut so hard it made even yourself jump.

"Come on _, I said I was sorry." A slurred voice came from the other side of the door. You rolled your eyes and continued stuffing clothes into a bag. Your dad continued to knock on the door with unsteady beats as you walked into your connected bathroom and grabbed your tooth brush.

You looked into the mirror staring at your (e/c) eyes with tears that blurred your vision but you forced them back. You walked back into your room carefully placing your favorite little brown teddy bear your mom got you before she died. Ever since then-

"_, _ please! Just open the door." Your eyes daggered the door and you slung the bag you packed your stuff in over your back marching toward the door. You swung it open harshly startling the man who stood before you making his green eyes go wide.

You pushed past him but not before he grabbed your wrist. You whirled around in fury grabbing the collar of his shirt.

"I will not forgive you anymore! Look at what the hell's happening to you! Just because mom died doesn't mean you can just throw your life away and bringing your only daughter with it!"

You didn't mean the words you said but that didn't keep you from making your way out of the house and slamming the door. You rested your back against the door with a heavy sigh lingering in the warm hall way of the apartment you lived in.

You tried everything to at least get his attention to see what he was doing. You misbehaved, got detentions, snuck out, you even tried drinking once but you would _never_ do that again. Since mom died of cancer dad's been miserable. He drinks all the time and he pays no attention to you at all.

He missed your Art Show where you got first for the best still life drawing and he knew drawing was your life. He missed your Prom night before you got to leave. Your date was your best friend Mathias who kept ensuring he would come but he never did. Not for pictures and not even for a, "have fun." Now, he just missed your 18th birthday party.

Everyone was there; friends, family, you were even sure mom was there somewhere. But dad wasn't. It just didn't feel like he cared anymore and ever since you were little, you always wanted to be like him… but not anymore.

You laid your head back against the door listening to your dad's slurred voice and a complete sober one.

"Dude, you really screwed up this time, Iggy." said your dad's friend Alfred. You liked Alfred; he was like a second father who was now turning more into a first.

"I told you not to call me that!"

"I'm just sayin' man,"

"Shut it you bloody git!" your dad, Arthur, muttered. You decided "dad" was a name for people who deserved it.

You couldn't take it anymore. Running outside you ignored the rain that pelted your face and let your legs take you to where ever they wanted. You soon appeared in front of Mathias's apartment. You hadn't even realized you knocked till you saw cute blond hair and dazzling blue eyes.

The tears wouldn't stay back anymore as your name came out of his mouth shocked. You threw yourself into his arms sobbing into his chest. Wrapping his arms tightly around you he stroked your (h/c) hair and whispering in your ear everything would be alright.

He picking you up in his arms bridal style and carried you into his house and sat you in his lap on the couch. You cried a little longer till the tears came to a hiccup.

"What happened?" he asked softly. You shifted your position so you could look at him and his blue orbs begged for an answer and that his best friend would be ok.

"I'm done, Mathias. I can't take it anymore." The words came out quietly as you shook your head.

"_, you know he's just having a hard time right now. All he needs is you to be there. To let him know everything will be ok."

"I already tried that! He's the one not trying!"

"It's only been almost a year. You know your dad-"

"Arthur," you cut in.

"What?"

"Dad should only be used for people who actually deserve that name." Not wanting you make you more upset he nodded confused and continued.

"Arthur still having a hard time and you know your mom was his first and only love."

"But does that really give him a reason to miss my Art Show? My-My Prom? My 18th birthday? Instead of a typical reason for not coming, like work or something, he just goes and gets drunk! He's probably going to miss our talent show too not to mention our graduation! I just can't take it anymore."

Mathias frown and cupped your face in his hands wiping your tears away with his thumbs.

"No," he whispered. "That's not a good reason, I'm sorry, _."

"Would you let me move in with you? I swear right after high school I'll get a full time job and help pay rent and everything!"

"You know I'd let you move in anytime and you wouldn't have to worry about the money so soon; we'd figure it out. But, I really don't think _now_ is a good time." He lightly kissed your forehead making your heart flutter. When he pulled away he gave a small white smile. "But I'll make you a promise; if you at least talk to your dad then you can move in."

Your face lit up and you beamed throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him.

"Thank you," you said warmly.

You stayed like that for a while until he pulled away.

"_, I need to tell you something." You stared into his eyes trying to read his expression but there were too many to tell.

"What?" you panicked.

"I would've said something sooner but I didn't want to ruin our friendship."

"That would never happen-"

"_ I love you!"

Your eyes grew wide and a dark crimson blush spread all the way to your ears. Well, you certainly weren't expecting that but your heart couldn't help but beat rapidly. You knew deep down you had always loved him but you had the same reason. If he didn't love you back you didn't want your friendship to end.

"I-I love you too."

Your words came out as a whisper and breathlessly. It was his turn for his eyes to grow wide for it wasn't the answer he was expecting.

"For a while." you added.

His lips suddenly crashed to yours stunning you. He kissed you fiercely but with so much emotion you could help but moan and wrap his arms around his neck. His tongue sneakily slipped between your lips making you squeak.

It was your first kiss- yes, 18 and your first kiss- but you couldn't have been happier that you shared it with Mathias.

You felt him smirk against your lips as his tongue battled for dominance but you fought back harder. You eventually let him win though, you didn't feel like battling anymore and you just wanted to enjoy the moment.  
>Your fingers tangled through his hair as he flipped you over so he was now on top and straddling you.<br>"Mathias," you moaned. "I love you."  
>"I love you, _."<br>That night you slept at his house soundly with Mathias's arms wrapped warmly around you. He was the greatest thing that had ever happened in your life and you wouldn't trade it for anything.

**A.N. – Yoo! So there's one more chapter on the way and that's it! So please don't ask me to continue it! Sorry~ But some advice on improvements are always welcomed! Thanks for reading and don't forget to Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N. - Heyy guys, so here's the second part! I really hope you like it!**

We Lost It All

Part 2

The school day went by in a blur and before you knew it you were in the auditorium tuning your guitar, another one of your very few talents. But performing was also one of your biggest fears. You absolutely loved performing for others but in front of an auditorium FULL of people?

Especially when you went on stage; all eyes on you either ready to see you shine or screw up miserably and fall on your ass where you'd be the joke of the school. You'd rather take the first one...

Taking a deep shaky breath you finished tuning your guitar and played a few chords and sang lightly.

"Forever is a long time. But I wouldn't mind spending it by your side. Tell me every day I get to wake up to that smile. I wouldn't mind it at all. I wouldn't mind it at all."

The last note flowed out softly and on perfect pitch. You smiled to yourself loving that song so much but you'd be singing something different for the talent show. It was a song you could actually connect to.

"Good job, _." you jumped and your head shot up to meet purple eyes.

"Oh, hi, Ivan," You said a little awkwardly. You guys had dated last year but he became too overprotective of you to the point he almost hit you for not telling him where you were. He always kind of scared you but now he just put you on edge.

"How have you been? I hear you're still having Dad troubles da."

"Back off Ivan." You growled. He just chuckled.

"I was just wondering."

"Thanks but no thanks." He walked up to you and placed a cold hand on your shoulder making you shudder.

"You still have one more chance to become one with mother Russia da?"

"No, I'm good, so don't ask again." He winked with a wicked grin and walked away.

You gave a heavy sigh and hung your head low.

"What wrong?" Mathias asked kneeling in front of you. You looked up at him and smiled.

"Nothing, just Ivan and I'm freaking out." You mumbled the last part while running a hand through your hair. He lifted his hand and gently placed it on your cheek.

"You can do this, _. Forget Ivan and everything else. Just listen to me; I believe in you and I know things are hard right now but do this one last thing of your senior year… for yourself. You don't have to be afraid. I'll be up there with you."

You stared into his eyes listening carefully to every word he said. Your eyes watered with joy but you held them back. And he was right; he'd be up there with you. Though, he usually plays electric guitar he'd be playing the bass guitar for you while you sang and rocked on the electric.

"Thank you, Mathias. I love you."

"I love you, too." He leaned in kissing you sweetly then helped you up.

"Come on, we're on in ten."

There was one more person on before you and, of course, it was Ivan. He was in his own band and you had to admit, they were pretty good and could rock pretty damn hard. But… you still didn't like him.

Him and his band friends came off the stage to the backstage laughing and cheering.

"Good luck, _. Break a leg." You just rolled your eyes annoyed. "Oh, and don't choke. Just pretend _all_ of the people aren't even staring at you waiting for you to mess up da."

He walked away smiling evilly and your whole body went stiff. Why did everything he say have to get to you?

"And now, for our final act; her life is art and rocking on the guitar and his life is music and his bestfriend! Ladies and gentleman, _ and Mathias will be singing Perfect by Simple Plan!"

Everyone in the audience cheered and screamed for both you and Mathias. You took a huge breath breath as both of you made your way on stage.

Mathias was beaming with confidence but you could hardly even smile. The spot light wasn't on yet though no one could see you, you could see them and you knew they would all be looking right at you.

Mathias quickly kissed your cheek and the lights suddenly flashed on blinding you. You completely froze up and turned around away from the crowd. Your mind was racing and your heart was beating rapidly. Mathias was suddenly in front of you.

"You _can_ do this _. I'm right here."

Somehow, just those words gave you enough confidence to make you nod and he went to the other side of you facing the crowd. You placed with your microphone- headset getting it to fit comfortably.

You finally looked to the side and looked at Mathias and nodded.

He began playing the soft sweet music and you strummed even lighter giving it a little depth. You both suddenly strummed hard and as you did you turned to face the crowd playing the guitar with your whole heart though your expression serious and hurt. And with that, you began singing.

"Hey dad, look at me. Think back and talk to me. Did I grow up according to plan? And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I want to do. But it hurts when you disprove all along."

You had more courage to sing now since you couldn't see anyone because of the stage lights. You sang with ever emotion you had in your heart. Your hurt, anger, distrust, love, hopeful.

"Cuz' we lost it all.  
>Nothing lasts forever<br>I'm sorry I can't be perfect.  
>Now it's just too late<br>And we can't go back I'm sorry I can't be perfect."

You couldn't fight anymore. You let the tears pool down your face silently as you sang each note perfectly with Mathias singing back up. Now, it was pure anger and sorrow that that filled your voice.

"Nothing's gonna change the things that you said  
>Nothing's gonna make this right again<br>Please don't turn your back  
>I can't believe it's hard<br>Just to talk to you  
>But you don't understand."<p>

"Cuz' we lost it all.  
>Nothing lasts forever<br>I'm sorry I can't be perfect.  
>Now it's just too late<br>And we can't go back I'm sorry I can't be perfect." (2x)

You strummed the last note and listened to it echo before running off the stage while ripping off your headset. You started sobbing again angry at yourself for doing so in front of everyone backstage.

Warm arms embraced you and you just rested your hands on their chest letting their warm and comfort relax you.

"You did great. Better than we've ever practiced." You looked up at Mathias giggling while sobbing.

"_," Your head shot up and you stared shocked.

"D-Dad?"

Your dad walked toward you frowning with his hands shoved in his pockets. Your heart ached as you stared into his dulled green orbs and his hurtful expression.

"Is that how you really feel?"

"You saw that whole thing?"

"Yes," You paused before answering his question.

"Yes,"

"Sweetie, I'm so sorry. I had no idea you were hurting _that_ much. I'm trying _, I really am. Please forgive me."

You looked up at Mathias who was giving you a light smile. You turned back trying to wipe the tears that wouldn't stop falling and you nodded.

"Yes," You ran over to him and into his arms and he held you tightly stroking your hair in the comforting fatherly way. You smiled to yourself happy that you finally got the message through and that you and your father were good again. You pulled back a little looking back at Mathias.

"Does that count as a talk?" He laughed nodding.

…**.**

It was official; you and Mathias were together, boyfriend and girlfriend! You moved in with him and your dad agreed!... But not until you graduated- which you did! You guys were completely happy together and nothing could've been better!

You promised your dad, and Alfred, you'd visit in keep in contact a lot especially on holidays. Also, your dad stopped drinking! With your help of course. Well… it was more tormenting him. You took all the alcohol and poured it down the drain and made him watch but he never touch anything ever again after that!

"Well mom, everything worked out like you always said things would." You smiled to yourself looking up at the sky. Arms wrapped around your waist and hot lips trailing down your neck and you blushed a bit. Your turned taking his face in your hands and pulling him into a sweet and demanding kiss.

"Your right," Mathias said pulling away and smiling down at you. "She always said things would work out I the end."

"Yeah, she did." You smiled.

"I love you, _"

"I love you."

**A.N.- Aww! I have to say writing this way (second person is it?) is a little weird but I had fun! The first song that "you" sing is I Wouldn't Mind It by He Is We and the second one is Perfect by Simple Plan. I love those songs! Please REVIEW they put a smile on my face! Love you guys!**


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